Tag: compassion

Mom & Me & Mashed Potatoes

Today was St. Patrick’s Day so I had to make Shepherd’s Pie. Of course I did. And those of you who know my sweet daughter Maggie entirely understand this. For those of you who don’t know her, just accept that she profoundly believes that every single holiday – whether regional, national, or worldwide – is a Food Event that must be Celebrated with an Appropriate Menu (and I mean those capital letters sincerely!).

But I digress . . .

So, I was making mashed potatoes to top off the Shepherd’s Pie and found myself once again missing my Mom, as I do pretty much every time I mash potatoes. Why is that? Glad you asked, because I am in the mood to pour out my heart – just a little bit.

My clever Mom loved to cook and she did it very well – she actually won a number of cooking awards – and she cheerfully indoctrinated my sister and I into the mysteries of the kitchen from a young age. Many of my dearest memories with Mom center on cooking together for holidays and special events – and sometimes just for fun – throughout our lives until she passed away at the age of 88 in 2018.

As you can imagine, we developed all kinds of laugh-laden kitchen habits and traditions, and one of these centered around mashed potatoes. No matter who had mashing duty, we would dirty a silly number of spoons taste-testing for just that appropriate level of salt. You would think two experienced cooks would be beyond this, but it somehow became a shared kitchen ritual – the memory of which puts a little ache in my heart and drops the occasional salty tear whenever I mash those spuds on my own or with my daughter.

By the way, if you were looking for a mashed potato recipe – here you go: Boil and mash a bunch of (preferably) gold potatoes. Add butter, a bit of milk or broth, and salt (add other seasoning, if desired) to taste. Measurements are unnecessary, just taste test using as many spoons as required. Enjoy!

I miss Mom, and I still love sharing about her. Thanks for listening.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

A Preposterous Faith

Christ-followers live in an increasingly secular world where we are loudly told our faith is stupid, unbelievable, and pointless, and that we should not voice opinions or vote our beliefs because our views are reactionary and preposterous. These voices blast us with the message to sit down, shut up, and be tolerant.

Wait – what?

Tolerance? As Inigo Montoya would say – I don’t think that word means what you think it means. In our weird, uneducated world, many believe tolerance only works one way, as in (and I have actually been told this): “You need to be kind and tolerant and vote according to MY opinions because I am a victim and I am right. I do NOT have to tolerate YOUR opinions – you are privileged and wrong, so you have no right to speak.”

In the name of a false tolerance and under threat of verbal (and sometimes physical) violence, opponents of Christianity do their best to silence us with shouts, ridicule, and guilt-triggering – which often works because we actually do care about others.

But submitting to this kind of beatdown is not what Scripture teaches. Our faith is magnificent, not preposterous.

We are to love profoundly – not just our friends, but also our enemies. We are to pray for those who hurt us. We are to boldly speak about Christ and live our faith courageously, because here’s the truth: Life is short and eternity is forever. Good news for us, but not so much for the nonbeliever (although they don’t know it). Think a minute – is there anyone you really dislike enough to wish them in Hell? I think not.

In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul said, “I have become all things to all men, so that by all means I might save some.” This is not a call to compromise (or live in “tolerance”) because – of all people! – Paul lived an uncompromising life. Instead, it meant he was contented with a hard life, accepting suffering as a result of speaking boldly about Christ, and continuing – no matter the risk – to make every effort to understand, befriend, teach, and relate to those from all walks of life in an effort to bring as many as possible to his magnificent faith – even his persecutors and jailers. Paul knew that every soul is worth saving.

So be Paul every chance you get. Follow Christ, love others, speak boldly, pray hard, be intolerant when necessary, and live your faith to a preposterous degree. Be magnificent.

Save some.

32 Million

According to a recent Barna Poll, 32 million church-going Christians will fail to vote on November 5, 2024.

No. Words.

Kidding.

I always have words. 

But I am pretty appalled. Because – what does this mean?

32 Million Christians will fail to attempt to correct injustice. Hmmm . . . Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, and plead the widow’s cause. Isaiah 1:17

32 million Christians will, in essence, passively vote for things they don’t want by failing to actually vote their conscience. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. James 4:17 (No whining later!)

32 million Christians will fuss about problems with the major parties and whine about flawed candidates. So – Hey! Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Do your best – work with what you’ve got.

32 million Christians will fail to impact our incredibly flawed political culture by honoring their legal obligation. Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Romans 13:1

32 million Christians will stand aside, claiming that God will handle it all. These people do not know their Bible because God acts through His children. For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

The 2020 election came down to an average of 60,000 votes in five states. That’s 300,000 votes. Let me repeat, in case you missed it: 32 million will fail to vote. Correct my math, if you will, but I am pretty sure 32 million swamps 300,000. In spite of what your cynical brain (or your cynical friends) tells you – your one little vote actually really, really matters.

Yes, both political parties are rife with issues – obviously. Vote, anyway. Select the party that most closely aligns with your Biblical principles and vote. I really don’t care if you feel the election is fixed. Vote. The more overwhelming the numbers, the harder it is to fix – so vote. I also don’t care if you’re mad about the available choices, the corrupt government, or problems in America. Vote, anyway. Actually, I DO care if you’re mad about those things, because that means you have convictions – so why aren’t you voting them?

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18

Remember who you are and set the example.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16

You are an overwhelmingly blessed child of our wise, passionate, and eternally loving God. Read your Bible. Educate yourself about what matters to Him and vote.

You Matter

On those days your life direction and choices seem to teeter precariously on that terrifying and soul-destroying line between inspiration and insanity, success and failure, self-esteem and self-loathing and you are unsure which path will not totally wreck you, remember this:

Your choices absolutely matter, but regardless of your choices today and their outcome, your life always has infinite value. You are precious to God, so let go of discouragement and anxiety and do not let self-doubt (or the voices of others) convince you that you don’t matter. This earthly life can be precarious and, in any given moment, any one of us could be a raging success, glide peacefully along, or stumble, crash and burn. Still, events on earth are temporary and eternity is permanent – so whatever today brings, look up to see and accept who you are in the Heavenlies, because in God’s eyes you are precious, you are loved, your life matters. Always. Rest in that, be confident, and choose what is eternal.

A Night Before Christmas Survival Guide for Parents

Quite a few years ago when I was having yet another MFM (Mom Failure Moment), I wrote this under the inspiration of the poem A Visit from Saint Nicholas. With a few edits, here it is again for Christmas 2023. May you have a joyful and as-relaxed-as-possible Christmas!

What We Take

It is said we come into this world with nothing and we take nothing with us when we leave, but that’s not true. We actually take with us just what we leave behind — all we have given, the good we have shared, everything we have poured into the lives of others in the name of the God of love. The more we leave, the more we take. This is not the way of the world, it is the way of the Lord.

A Better Past

As parents of special needs children, we are undoubtedly our own harshest critics. We waste much of our thought time and precious energy debating the past – wondering if we could have or should have done a thing differently, taken a different approach, persisted more in some areas, less in others. Our own self-castigating voices rumble in the back of our minds questioning and regretting past actions even as we strive to live positively in the present and do our best to help establish viable futures for our loved ones. It’s a big load to carry.

I believe time travel shows such as Back to the Future and Doctor Who are popular because they feed the desire to change past choices that may (or may not) have ended better so we might no longer struggle with guilt or shame over decisions that can never be changed. In my own struggle with self-forgiveness, I have learned this: If we are truly to receive the grace God offers, embrace the present and move forward in hope and joy, we must give up hope for a better past.

We are, in fact, our own worst enemies in terms of grace. God’s command for us to love others as He loves us (John 13:34) indicates that He intends us to walk in compassion and mercy with those around us. In Mark 12:30-31 and Leviticus 19:18, God’s command extends to us loving others as we love ourselves, a clear indication for each of us to accept that we are no less a recipient of His mighty grace than anyone else.

I must point out here the obvious truth that most of us find it much easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. And yet, who are we to refuse forgiveness to anyone, including ourselves, where God has so graciously given it? Are we above Him in any way? Is it our job to second-guess his judgement and mercy? Where God forgives, we are to forgive – including ourselves. If our repentance over wrong actions is real, then the release of God’s freely given grace should be directed inward as well as outward.

The gritty inner voices of self-recrimination just slow us down. The truth is that memories of things said and done will always be with us – the wonderful, powerful times as well as the dark moments and heinous mistakes. As difficult as it may be for us to let go of that which we cannot change, it can be done and – for the benefit of our special loved ones, all those we care for, and even ourselves – it should be done. With God’s help, we can learn to allow the darkness of past regret to drop away and choose the hope, clarity, and peace that He has for each of us.