Me: So most of the Disney lead characters are orphans or have lost one parent?
Maggie: Yes.
Me: Uh huh. That’s sad to begin with but, except for Bambi’s mom, we don’t really witness it. Disney learned their lesson with that one. And the villains die in ways that hopefully won’t scare little kids, is that right?
Maggie: Wellll . . . maybe.
Me: Beauty and the Beast – Gaston. He falls.
Maggie: Yeah.
Me: We don’t see him land. Snow White – Evil Queen?
Maggie: Falls off a cliff.
Me: Ummm – Sleeping Beauty?
Maggie: Stabbed and falls off a cliff.
Me: Ah! Two for one. I remember the evil priest in Hunchback went out in flames. Anybody else?
Mags: Shere Khan is stabbed – Jungle Book.
Me: Blood?
Mags: I don’t think so.
Me: So there’s that. In the book, a stampede takes him out.
Mags: In Mulan, Shanyu was blown up by fireworks.
Me: Oh yeah – right! Although – still bloodless. But at least Mulan had both parents! I can’t remember – what happened to the bad guy in Aladdin?
Mags: Jafar was put in a lamp and thrown out the window.
Me: The Lion King?
Mags: Thrown off a cliff.
Me: Ok, so mostly falls, fire, and imprisonment? Some bloodless stabbing? What about Prince John from Robin Hood?
Mags: He went to jail. Cruella went to jail. But Mordu in Brave was crushed!
Me: Yeah, but did you see Mordu crushed? No blood?
Mags: No. But his ghost came out.
Me: Well, that’s handy. Ok, let’s summarize. Most animated Disney lead characters are orphans or half-orphans, except Mulan and Merida . . . probably Christopher Robin . . .
Mags: And The Incredibles!!
Me: Ok. And the villains are mostly eliminated in ways that are visually bloodless – Wait!! What about Ursula?
Mags: She got stabbed by a boat.
Me: There you go! Any blood?
Mags: No.
Me: Of course not.