Category: Autism

Good People

It has famously been said that the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

I am stunned by the number of “good” men and women who do nothing on election day. Do they honestly think evil takes the day off? In America, the very minimum – the absolute least – that Americans can do to forward what they believe in is vote. Instead, I often hear song and dance along these lines:

“I just don’t like the candidates!”
(You don’t have to. This is not a popularity contest. Use your brain, not your feelings. Vote platforms, not people.)

“I am not in the mood for this – I just don’t want to mess with it.”
(Sooooo – you think the world is totally fine as-is? Time to wake up.)

“Political stuff is too hard. I just don’t get it.”
(You are not that stupid. Really, you’re not. Talk to those you respect. Read a little. Figure out what you believe, then vote that way.)

“I can’t vote for anybody. All politicians are corrupt.”
(Nobody’s perfect. Failing to vote is not a protest against politics, it’s surrender to everything you oppose. Once again – platforms, not people. Do your best.)

“As a Christian, I can’t get involved.”
(Seriously? Since when does the Bible tell people not to get involved! This excuse is simply a lack of Biblical understanding, unfortunately rather common and quite popular with those who cackle at you behind your back while they vote against everything you believe.)

“God ordains leaders. I don’t have to do anything.”
(Read your Bible! Since when does God NOT work through His people?)

“There is no point in voting when there is so much fraud.”
(Did the 2024 election teach you nothing? Sheer quantity can overwhelm fraud.)

If nothing else, vote so you can freely complain about the election results. No voting, no right to complain.

Don’t just vote the way your parents did, your spouse does, or for the party you’ve always supported just because it’s easiest/tradition/whatever. I don’t care if you are voting against a platform or for a platform. Identify the party with the platform you agree with the most or the platform you disagree with the least. Vote that. Make a decision. Be an American.

A Better Past

As parents of special needs children, we are undoubtedly our own harshest critics. We waste much of our thought time and precious energy debating the past – wondering if we could have or should have done a thing differently, taken a different approach, persisted more in some areas, less in others. Our own self-castigating voices rumble in the back of our minds questioning and regretting past actions even as we strive to live positively in the present and do our best to help establish viable futures for our loved ones. It’s a big load to carry.

I believe time travel shows such as Back to the Future and Doctor Who are popular because they feed the desire to change past choices that may (or may not) have ended better so we might no longer struggle with guilt or shame over decisions that can never be changed. In my own struggle with self-forgiveness, I have learned this: If we are truly to receive the grace God offers, embrace the present and move forward in hope and joy, we must give up hope for a better past.

We are, in fact, our own worst enemies in terms of grace. God’s command for us to love others as He loves us (John 13:34) indicates that He intends us to walk in compassion and mercy with those around us. In Mark 12:30-31 and Leviticus 19:18, God’s command extends to us loving others as we love ourselves, a clear indication for each of us to accept that we are no less a recipient of His mighty grace than anyone else.

I must point out here the obvious truth that most of us find it much easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. And yet, who are we to refuse forgiveness to anyone, including ourselves, where God has so graciously given it? Are we above Him in any way? Is it our job to second-guess his judgement and mercy? Where God forgives, we are to forgive – including ourselves. If our repentance over wrong actions is real, then the release of God’s freely given grace should be directed inward as well as outward.

The gritty inner voices of self-recrimination just slow us down. The truth is that memories of things said and done will always be with us – the wonderful, powerful times as well as the dark moments and heinous mistakes. As difficult as it may be for us to let go of that which we cannot change, it can be done and – for the benefit of our special loved ones, all those we care for, and even ourselves – it should be done. With God’s help, we can learn to allow the darkness of past regret to drop away and choose the hope, clarity, and peace that He has for each of us.

The Bloodlessness of Disney: A Conversation with My Daughter

Me: So most of the Disney lead characters are orphans or have lost one parent?
Maggie: Yes.
Me: Uh huh. That’s sad to begin with but, except for Bambi’s mom, we don’t really witness it. Disney learned their lesson with that one. And the villains die in ways that hopefully won’t scare little kids, is that right?
Maggie: Wellll . . . maybe.
Me: Beauty and the Beast – Gaston. He falls.
Maggie: Yeah.
Me: We don’t see him land. Snow White – Evil Queen?
Maggie: Falls off a cliff.
Me: Ummm – Sleeping Beauty?
Maggie: Stabbed and falls off a cliff.
Me: Ah! Two for one. I remember the evil priest in Hunchback went out in flames. Anybody else?
Mags: Shere Khan is stabbed – Jungle Book.
Me: Blood?
Mags: I don’t think so.
Me: So there’s that. In the book, a stampede takes him out.
Mags: In Mulan, Shanyu was blown up by fireworks.
Me: Oh yeah – right! Although – still bloodless. But at least Mulan had both parents! I can’t remember – what happened to the bad guy in Aladdin?
Mags: Jafar was put in a lamp and thrown out the window.
Me: The Lion King?
Mags: Thrown off a cliff.
Me: Ok, so mostly falls, fire, and imprisonment? Some bloodless stabbing? What about Prince John from Robin Hood?
Mags: He went to jail. Cruella went to jail. But Mordu in Brave was crushed!
Me: Yeah, but did you see Mordu crushed? No blood?
Mags: No. But his ghost came out.
Me: Well, that’s handy. Ok, let’s summarize. Most animated Disney lead characters are orphans or half-orphans, except Mulan and Merida . . . probably Christopher Robin . . .
Mags: And The Incredibles!!
Me: Ok. And the villains are mostly eliminated in ways that are visually bloodless – Wait!! What about Ursula?
Mags: She got stabbed by a boat.
Me: There you go! Any blood?
Mags: No.
Me: Of course not.

Oxygen

If you are, like me, a mom of amazing special needs children, then you completely understand when I tell you that hope is the very air I breathe.

Some days I am left gasping amid the debris of shattered dreams. My lungs constrict with fears for my children’s futures, their wellbeing, their happiness, their faith. In these moments, I breathlessly cry out to God with all that is in my heart – and He hears.

He hears. And I rest in knowing that He is always there and He loves my children more than I can ever imagine, and my faith is strengthened. Hope again saturates my soul and fills my lungs for the beloved marathon of blessing my family another day.

God. Is. My. Oxygen.