Faith, family, fun, and general life experience through the eyes and heart of a mom of three awesome young adults with special needs.
It is said we come into this world with nothing and we take nothing with us when we leave, but that’s not true. We actually take with us just what we leave behind — all we have given, the good we have shared, everything we have poured into the lives of others in the name of the God of love. The more we leave, the more we take. This is not the way of the world, it is the way of the Lord.
As parents of special needs children, we are undoubtedly our own harshest critics. We waste much of our thought time and precious energy debating the past – wondering if we could have or should have done a thing differently, taken a different approach, persisted more in some areas, less in others. Our own self-castigating voices rumble in the back of our minds questioning and regretting past actions even as we strive to live positively in the present and do our best to help establish viable futures for our loved ones. It’s a big load to carry.
I believe time travel shows such as Back to the Future and Doctor Who are popular because they feed the desire to change past choices that may (or may not) have ended better so we might no longer struggle with guilt or shame over decisions that can never be changed. In my own struggle with self-forgiveness, I have learned this: If we are truly to receive the grace God offers, embrace the present and move forward in hope and joy, we must give up hope for a better past.
We are, in fact, our own worst enemies in terms of grace. God’s command for us to love others as He loves us (John 13:34) indicates that He intends us to walk in compassion and mercy with those around us. In Mark 12:30-31 and Leviticus 19:18, God’s command extends to us loving others as we love ourselves, a clear indication for each of us to accept that we are no less a recipient of His mighty grace than anyone else.
I must point out here the obvious truth that most of us find it much easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. And yet, who are we to refuse forgiveness to anyone, including ourselves, where God has so graciously given it? Are we above Him in any way? Is it our job to second-guess his judgement and mercy? Where God forgives, we are to forgive – including ourselves. If our repentance over wrong actions is real, then the release of God’s freely given grace should be directed inward as well as outward.
The gritty inner voices of self-recrimination just slow us down. The truth is that memories of things said and done will always be with us – the wonderful, powerful times as well as the dark moments and heinous mistakes. As difficult as it may be for us to let go of that which we cannot change, it can be done and – for the benefit of our special loved ones, all those we care for, and even ourselves – it should be done. With God’s help, we can learn to allow the darkness of past regret to drop away and choose the hope, clarity, and peace that He has for each of us.
Me: So most of the Disney lead characters are orphans or have lost one parent?
Maggie: Yes.
Me: Uh huh. That’s sad to begin with but, except for Bambi’s mom, we don’t really witness it. Disney learned their lesson with that one. And the villains die in ways that hopefully won’t scare little kids, is that right?
Maggie: Wellll . . . maybe.
Me: Beauty and the Beast – Gaston. He falls.
Maggie: Yeah.
Me: We don’t see him land. Snow White – Evil Queen?
Maggie: Falls off a cliff.
Me: Ummm – Sleeping Beauty?
Maggie: Stabbed and falls off a cliff.
Me: Ah! Two for one. I remember the evil priest in Hunchback went out in flames. Anybody else?
Mags: Shere Khan is stabbed – Jungle Book.
Me: Blood?
Mags: I don’t think so.
Me: So there’s that. In the book, a stampede takes him out.
Mags: In Mulan, Shanyu was blown up by fireworks.
Me: Oh yeah – right! Although – still bloodless. But at least Mulan had both parents! I can’t remember – what happened to the bad guy in Aladdin?
Mags: Jafar was put in a lamp and thrown out the window.
Me: The Lion King?
Mags: Thrown off a cliff.
Me: Ok, so mostly falls, fire, and imprisonment? Some bloodless stabbing? What about Prince John from Robin Hood?
Mags: He went to jail. Cruella went to jail. But Mordu in Brave was crushed!
Me: Yeah, but did you see Mordu crushed? No blood?
Mags: No. But his ghost came out.
Me: Well, that’s handy. Ok, let’s summarize. Most animated Disney lead characters are orphans or half-orphans, except Mulan and Merida . . . probably Christopher Robin . . .
Mags: And The Incredibles!!
Me: Ok. And the villains are mostly eliminated in ways that are visually bloodless – Wait!! What about Ursula?
Mags: She got stabbed by a boat.
Me: There you go! Any blood?
Mags: No.
Me: Of course not.
This is only for my fellow Social Introverts out there, and I want you all to hear me right now:
You know that thing we do where we love being with people so we are with them too much for a a period of time, but all the social activity ultimately wears us both mentally and physically? So then we want to find a rock to crawl under for a while – but not in a bad way. Not in an everybody-hates-me-so-I’ll-hide way, but in a so-blessed-really-but-I-need-to-breathe-now way. You know how that goes? Well, I’m there with you, so I am have been spending some time under the rock. I am very fond of you all and would invite you to share my rock, but as social introverts we are all in this together separately so you will have to find peace and rest under your own rock. Maybe when I crawl out we can meet for lunch or see a movie together and have fun exhausting each other again. Because, y’know, there’s always the rock.
Here’s the the thing, my friendly-but-introverted siblings-at-heart-and-also-at-a-distance, no matter what anyone leads you to believe, you deserve to rest. You really do. The world in general confuses us with extroverts and – weirdly – we often get swept up in that belief so we have to work a bit harder to get our quiet time. We need to make a clear and conscious choice to rest and then must deliberately set ourselves apart from society for a while. It’s not easy, but it is worth it for us and it makes us better, more patient people toward those we love.
So I’m telling you today – find your personal rock, inform those who need to know that you are righteously and justifiably hiding, then just do it – even if it’s only for a little while. Log off social media, shut off the electronics, cancel the social activities. Read a book, cuddle with your pets, indulge privately in your favorite hobbies, and put that rock firmly between you and the world for a while.
The familiar feels safe and so often that’s a good, important thing. But sometimes we cling more than we should; we hang on when we know it’s time – or even past time – to release. We cling to hindsight because we have already been through it, and we fear the unknown. Time only works one direction so letting go and leaping is always a risk.
But you know what? Don’t let that fear get to you. You don’t need to get brave, you’re already brave. Getting out of bed is a risk. Driving a car is a risk. Life is a risk. Get over it. The scariest part is just before you act. Pray, then leap. Once you’re in the air the view is better, the air is fresher, and you’ll figure it out.
And Someone is waiting to catch you.
When you think of Jesus Christ, what image comes into your head?
Every day, every way, on more levels than any of us can possibly understand or imagine, Jesus lives. He is not a baby in a barn, a child in the Temple, preaching in Israel, bleeding on the Cross, currently resurrecting, or even wearing human skin. All of these events are part of His life and message and are worthy of breathless awe and honor, of course! But they are part of His history, not to be confused with what Christ is doing today or where He is right now – which happens to be in Heaven, at the right hand of God, listening to our hearts and being involved in our lives.
So, do these things:
Bow before the Holy Babe in the manger to honor Christ’s great love in coming to us.
Fall on your knees at the Cross and see the sacrifice He made and your own brokenness so you can repent and change your life.
Humble yourself to the ground in gratitude at the empty tomb because He miraculously conquered death to offer you a joyous forever.
Then stand in grace before the living ever-present Christ who is right here for you and is compassionate and powerful and sees exactly who you are from the top of everything lovely about you down to the tippy-toes of everything ugly and still loves you unconditionally, hears you unceasingly, laughs with your joys, weeps with your sorrows, encourages you unerringly, pours grace and mercy all over you, and stays with you wherever you go, whatever you do, no matter the darkness or mistakes – because He is yours and you are His! Reach toward the unfathomable wonder of Jesus Christ in the present and step up with confidence.
He is glorious, He is love, and He. Is. Here.
“I came so they might have life, and have it abundantly.” ~ John 10:10b
“For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him.” ~ John 3:17
My Mom often said, “It doesn’t hurt to ask. If you don’t ask, you won’t know.” She was right.
People are so often stressed about not being “good enough”, but the most powerful evidence that Heaven is gained by faith alone – not by any human effort – may be the testimony of a dying criminal who just asked.
Jesus on the cross was bloody, gory, weak, suffering, publicly shamed and ridiculed. In the eyes of most, there was nothing to recommend Him as a human or king, and certainly not as any kind of savior. He was accused of being – and, indeed, appeared to be – a lying, blasphemous, cult-leader of a criminal under a common death sentence with two other criminals. In that moment, His appearance gave no one cause for faith. Those suffering and dying with Him were admittedly guilty. They had no good works that were recorded, they certainly were not baptized, did not speak in tongues or prophesy, and had no time left to perform redemptive acts. In that moment, they had nothing to offer anyone – certainly not God. Like many in the crowd, the criminals jeered and taunted the bleeding, dying Jesus.
But one of them changed.
And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” He was on a cross, scared, dying in shame and agony. Couldn’t hurt to ask, right?
Nowhere is it written that Christ said, “Sorry – you need to be baptized. You need good works. You need evidence of the Spirit. Sorry, man.”
Instead, at this evidence of faith alone – a shaky faith born of pain and fear – Jesus told him, “Today you shall be with me in Paradise.”
As Jesus bore the darkness of this world into death to earn redemption for all who believe, he took along the criminal dying right next door. Just because he asked.
No other reason.
So do Christ followers need to do good things? Should we study the Bible, love one another, and act kindly? Yes, of course. But we are called to lives of love and caring and acts of goodness because we have already received grace and are already destined for Heaven, and because we want to share His mercy and our hope with others any way we can. Not because we need to earn our way to Heaven – that way has already been earned for us. We have chosen to believe, we have asked in faith, so Christ has given the gift of eternity. He remembers us – always.
So today, if you just want a some peace in your life, some hope, some assurance, some comfort – even if you are not sure who He is or how He can give it – try a little faith. It doesn’t hurt to ask. If you don’t ask, you won’t know.
“Jesus, remember me.”
My awesome daughter Maggie (with the superpower of autism!) is once again researching and creating menus based on Pixar Movies. Most recently, she developed four (YES! FOUR!) full days of meals based on the movie Ratatouille, a mere ONE MOVIE! If you read my previous blog on this topic, you know that she was able to get FOUR Toy Story movies into ONE day of food. But then – Toy Story was not actually based on food and Ratatouille is, so there’s that. If you have not seen the movie, just know that it involves an upscale French restaurant and rat who cooks gourmet food. Appetizing . . .
So Maggie and I have a system: She decides on the movie focus, finds sources online for menu and recipe ideas from Pixar movies (and she’s certainly not the only one who likes movie-based food!), creates her own idea list, and sends me links. We go over the menus together. My mission is to take her list, simplify it if needed, and – especially in the case of Ratatouille – make any gourmet dishes actually affordable. Together, we cook enough for the whole family, Maggie photographs the food before sitting down (all the photos seen here are hers), and we dig in. Maggie and I are experimental eaters and will pretty much try anything. Other members of our beloved family are not quite so adventurous, although we do our best to make everything palatable! Here are the recipes for our ONE day of Ratatouille completed thus far. I am pretty sure she has a dream of doing the other three days down the road, but Wall-E is up next and it will be remarkably easy so I am ignoring the cooking rodent movie for the immediate future.
NOTE: Many of Maggie’s suggestions come from http://disneymeals.me. We frequently do not follow their recipes since we often find purchased or homemade alternatives that work better for us, but it’s a cool resource.
Breakfast
Cheese cubes
Strawberries
Lightening-y Mushrooms
Whew! Breakfast was not difficult. The cheese cubes had to be cheddar and the strawberries, fresh. Lightening-y Mushrooms (so named because two characters in the movie were actually struck by lightening while making them) are basically baby portobellos stuffed with goat cheese and baked. The recipe is located at the site mentioned above and, for once, we pretty much followed it.
Lunch
Caesar Salad with Salmon (but without the Salmon)
Cheese Souffle
We purchased bagged Caesar Salad at Sam’s Club because we already like it. I decided to take a short cut and use canned salmon, but hadn’t purchased it in years so failed to recall that some of it comes with all the bones and skin still intact in the can. You will note in the photo that our Caesar salad is unadorned by salmon. And that’s all I have to say about that (Forrest Gump reference? Yes).
On a more positive note, we were ecstatic to find a lovely recipe for Easy Cheese Souffles by Chef John at allrecipes.com! The recipe did sound simple, but I have heard culinary horror stories about souffles falling dramatically – especially if you mess with the recipe. However, the recipe called for two 5.5 ounce ramekins and we had six 8 ounce, so without hesitation or trepidation (maybe a little trepidation) we promptly multiplied the recipe by four. Good times. Ha. And I have to tell you that CHEF JOHN TOTALLY KNOWS HIS STUFF!! We increased the cooking time to accommodate the larger size, but those souffles popped right up like little Queen Elizabeth hats and DID NOT FALL! The x4 recipe came together easily, exactly filled our six ramekins, and tasted delicious!
Dinner
Seared Beef
Wild Rice
Vegetables
Mille Feuille
Steak can be expensive – so Sam’s Club to the rescue once again! We found affordable cuts and used an electric skillet to sear and cook the steaks in our usual way. Would a cast iron skillet have been a bit more gourmet? Mmmm – possibly! But you go with what you’ve got. And the wild rice? Helllooo, Uncle Ben! Great stuff, easy prep. The veggie selection suggested on disneymeals looked perfect so we lightly grilled zucchini, yellow squash, red pepper, and a bit less onion than recommended (since some in the fam think onions were invented solely to be sliced in rings, coated with batter, and fried).
Of course we websearched how to pronounce Mille Feuille, so everybody speak up and say: “mil foy”. There you go – say it often and spell it never. We were happy to find ready-to-bake puff pastry (Pepperidge Farm) but realized we would need to make the pastry cream so again turned to ever-reliable allrecipes.com. Success! If you need a delicious, simple, and affordable 5-star pastry cream recipe, look for the effectively (if not creatively) titled Pastry Cream by Christinibeanie. Maggie was marvelously efficient at the constant stirring to prevent scorching and the cream cooked up with an addicting taste and very nice consistency!
While the cream chilled, we placed each raw pastry sheet on a parchment-covered baking sheet, neatly sliced it into three equal rectangular strips, covered those with a layer each of parchment and foil, set another baking sheet on top to keep the pastry flat while cooking, then gently smashed the sheets further with a spatula while still warm. We created a light icing of milk and powdered sugar with just a touch of lemon. After the pastry cooled, Maggie spread the chilled cream thickly on two strips of pastry and iced the top layer before stacking, then we carefully cut the rectangular stacks into square portions. Maggie decorated them with Ghirardelli Premium Sauce Chocolate syrup (in the red bottle). And I gotta say – the Mille Feuille tasted incredible! We actually had enough cream and pastry leftover to make a fresh batch for dessert the next night, as well, so I think my calorie load has been met for the next couple of months.
If you are not sure about doing an entire Ratatouille day and decide to just try one or two things, I highly recommend the Souffle and the Mille Feuille. Enjoy!
ImaginAgeless 